july 13

middle of July and it's when the exhibition is coming, i cant help but feeling a bit exhausted.. though i just got back from a break.. i still feel tired.. prob it's just that work and school cramping all at once..

i want a long break, not only i need one, i think i deserve one

i was doing calculation on my salary earlier today.. i'm running short of 19% from what i expected.

maybe my goals are not rewarding enough to make me push harder.. or maybe i feel i'm prepare enough to go another mile and that i'm tired mentally stuck at this point of life.. growing from a student life to a working life.. i burst out with lots of fire, energy and also life.. though i enjoy my work, i want to do something different with my life

i'm just sick and tired that i'm still not finish with my school yet and that my life is back to square one..

that sucks



as i'm sitting there pondering, i came across a quote

it goes like this

"work so hard that one day your signature will be called an autograph"

i'm not really chasing that autograph fame..



i draw up a 10 years plan, 6 years of them include working hard..

can't it just be working?? must it be working hard??

of course the decision is always in my hand..but as being advise, it's best to work hard now then work hard later..

not that i'm thinking of taking an easy way out nor am i thinking of giving business up.. maybe a change of lifestyle would make things better.. who knows??

it probably could take a turn toward worst.. but we need some changes here and there to keep things interesting..

i'm really not up for that title, fame, luxury or money..



i had enough chasing of those.. 7 years building on career is enough of building.. of course another 6 years would probably give me a better prospect however for the hours that i have put in, it seems like i have been working for 15 years..





there is light at the end of the tunnel and hard work will pay off



and then there is this



we are all growing and through thick and thin, as the recent movie i watch called "enchanted"

there is this quote that goes "why let bad times take away those awesome happy times"

and because of this, every time whenever i feel tired makes me buckle up and push harder.. to create a better future, be responsible and simply a better man

i make many mistakes and uttered many hurtful words without knowing how much it hurts, my action had also brought bad consequences as well as hurtful things to people that have been patient with me

i'm working to wipe all these off...

sometimes i got so tired i don even feel like smiling even though i am happy..

************************************************************************

i over heard somebody said this words.. it said that treat other on how you want to be treated that is past nowadays its treat other on how they treat you

i find this wording silly

though i practice this in the past... i find it to be extremely silly now

we should live by code of conduct or by our own definition on what is right or wrong.. not by others, we shouldn't be sway by how others treat us..

if we think certain act is wrong.. just do not commit such act...

simple

we don't have to care what other think, if its right or wrong.. so long as we did not commit a crime..

why don't we have to care about what other think? because they don't matter.. family matter.. best friend matter.. that's it

good friend, bad friend.. it doesn't really matter..

secure that basic foundation.. attitude is something i have to make adjustment.. and i know i'm not far off..

securing that future.. seems to be so much more important

money in the bank?? that of course is important.. however that does not mean we should blow it off buying things we do not need or spend on silly things

******************************************************************************

living modestly..



back to basic

i need that life to make some changes..

get a basic car

forget about those luxury stuff or high tech gadget

live so modest that i got sick of it..

that is when i shall get that energy back..

that expensive shoe, suit, watch or shirt will stop for a while..



i quietly share this with one of my course mate today.. and he replied saying such decision will probably start a row of where people will look down on me.. gossip this and that.. bla bla and bla

seriously i don't really care..

label me poor or maybe lazy

probably some will even began saying my business have problem that i am a failure.. that i am having problem.. i am reaching the bottom.. maybe a laughing stock

it's ok

i don't feel like explaining.. nor do i want to explain..

so maybe i will drive a myvi or saga around.. wearing bata shoe..

ha ha

i just want to take up a new hobby.. fishing is something i always wanted to do..

yeah, modest life for a year or two shall do the trick..

:)