Value 4 & 5

January rolls in, I stop all internet chatting, movie downloading and games playing. I wake up every morning at 8am while stay back and study until 10pm every single day. It is here I met a guy from Bangladesh. He is alone too like me, so we decided to learn how to cook together, buy grocery together, learn the entire trick and of course loop holes in the university together and the most important of all, we study together 7 days a week, 14-15 hours a day for the remaining semester. During the remainder of the semester, the library became my second home. I sleep over there and have borrowed books piling up so high, it became a fortress. The only time i go back to my apartment is to eat and shower. After that, its back to school. 

Of the 3 subject that I manage to still stay in course are calculus (additional mathematics) , logic reasoning (philosophy) and physics. Bear in mind that I never pass my calculus during my high school time. Not once. i did pass my physics a couple of times though. 

Year end exam came and I end my semester with flying colors. I was the top scorer for both physics and calculus, scoring a perfect 100 for physics and 96 for calculus. I got my first two scholarships both from mathematics department and also physics department. 

April ended. I took a biology spring course to make up for the course that I have failed. I followed the same routine. I study from morning till night non stop, true enough I score an excellent high 90. I still remember how high the marks were because I never got this high in my entire school years while i was in KL.

This is when I learn how hardworking and determination can pay off. 

I leave Canada for the summer and go back to KL. I can’t wait to go back and meet with my old friends. I have not seen them for a year! I was ecstatic and filled with joy. There will be so many catching up to do and so many activities that i can do with them. I have spend the last 7 months doing nothing but study. There will be movies, soccer, and just being silly together again was my expectation. 

I can't wait! but life is just cruel, we all have grown apart and we have all grown up. I find blending myself with them became an uphill battle. I can’t follow up with their stories and their lifestyle. I remain quiet most of the time i'm out with them. I hardly understand the places that they have gone. They were talking about doing the shuffle dance, they were talking about going to the beach club or whatever club, the new phones / ringtone, the what celebrity called jay chow, what road leads to which college or which restaurant, how awesome is this movie or that movie, they sing karaoke together which even though im there i can't understand a word written on the television, they began gossip about this person or that person. I don't even understand 80% of the conversation. i got slip out of their conversation much more easily this time round. No body at that moment seems to bat an eye on me. 

Maybe it is due to what I have go through back in Winnipeg, my personality changes and this in turn makes it even harder for me to blend in. Probably due to the boring lifestyle I lead in Canada, Winnipeg in particular. I knew then that I have lost the bond with my best buddies. We can no longer joke and play like it uses to be. I have grown far apart from them. That our friendship bond are going up the air, just like that? sadly but true

For a moment I began to hate my parents for kicking me so far away, to make me endure this crappy life while I could be enjoying my life with my friends. I was 19 then.

July come and go, so is august, September finally came and I have leave for Canada again.

When I reached Winnipeg, I realized most of my buddies already transfer to another university including my best buddy. I’m all alone again. This cycle is finally getting into me and I tell myself, I’m never going back to KL anymore until I finish my studies here.

I began to look for work, job, experience, volunteer work during my three years there. I join churches, society and does community service work. I began to stop taking money from dad and began handle my financial myself through wages and scholarship.

This is where I learn to be very persistent, determine and consistent.